Party favors

Seen in the advice column of Party Pantry magazine

Dear Party Pantry,

Last Saturday I went to my good friend Tommy’s birthday party. There were bubbles, cake, a bounce house… It was so much fun. Until the very end, when I realized there were no party favors! I’m really disappointed we didn’t get anything. Now I feel really weird and don’t know what to do or say when I see Tommy in school. Please help!

Sincerely,
Empty-handed

Dear Empty-handed,

You have every right to be disappointed – angry even. How dare Tommy and his family invite you over, on a day dedicated to celebrating his special day, let you have so much fun and food, yet not give you anything? It’s an outrage! I think you should end your friendship with Tommy immediately. And from now on, when invited to a party, don’t forget to ask what’s in it for you. Refuse to go to parties that don’t give out cheap plastic trinkets you’ll forget about the next day.

Good luck,
Party Pantry